Hi I'm down dating app reddit Aziz Ansari. I'm working on a book about modern romance and wanted to reach out down dating app reddit the reddit community to share their experiences. I've read and been told many interesting stories that I will be commenting on here. I'll be joined by NYU professor Eric Klinenberg ericklinenbergthe author of Going Solowho's working with me on the book.
Thanks for your time. Eric and I have been doing interviews and focus groups on modern romance all over the US and in some other countries, too. We'd like to use your comments here the way we use what we learn in our other conversations. So any and all stories posted here may be used in our book. I'm a comedian, so please do not mistake anything you read here as professional advice. Describe your experience with swipe dating apps Tinder, Hinge, etc.
What are looking for? Casual or something serious? Has it changed your dating life? How often do you check it? Down dating app reddit the way you use it changed over time? I used Tinder for about a year, and kept stats on it for some dumb nerdy reason. I'm a straight white cisgendered male in my late's, so here's my non-unique and thoroughly unremarkable experience:.
Of those I messaged, roughly half responded enough to have a conversation. I went into the experience with minimal expectations, and was open to using the app for hookups, real relationships, or anything in between. My use of the app evolved into a "strategy" of sorts over time. This amounted to the following:. Ideally, we should only have one conversation via the app. That conversation should be continuous back-and-forth, and conclude with down dating app reddit exchange of phone numbers and a date for the near future.
I didn't want to run around in circles text messaging someone for three weeks or whatever. We both expressed at least passing physical attraction already, and we had a nice enough conversation to indicate we could talk for an hour down dating app reddit two in person and not be disgusted. I'd rather get to know you in person over a drink than with texts down dating app reddit emojis.
My first date proposal was always a drink on a weekday, and I tried to make it somewhere convenient for her. I wanted the first date to be fairly non-committal, because I found a lot of people on the app hadn't really downloaded it with the intention of actually meeting anyone in person. Plus, I didn't spend much time trying to get to know the person on the app, so I wanted the first date to be a low investment of time and energy for both of us if it turns out we just don't click. If you say you'll meet for a drink at 7: We both gotta work in the morning, so we'll get a drink or two and if it goes well we can have a longer more "real" date next time.
It also doesn't impose you on the other person's weekend plans. I never approached it with the intention of a one-night-stand. This also ties into the previous point, as it's easier to keep from carried away into prolonging a weeknight date. I always assumed this down dating app reddit be someone I might like to date seriously, and adjusted expectations as things developed. Some of the women I met were clearly not looking for something serious, including my first Tinder date.
I was blown away by the girl at the time and would have dated her exclusively in a heartbeat, but after a brief and incongruous hookup on the second date she literally turned to me at the bar and said "you wanna go home and have sex? I also had experiences where the reverse was true. All in all, I found Tinder to be a positive experience.
It was a good way to meet a lot of different people I'd otherwise never run into. I found it to be generally a confidence booster, as I met a fair number of women and several whom I never would have approached in person for fear of being way out of my league. That probably says more about my own anxieties than it does about the app but whatever. Of course, in the end I met someone through mutual friends who I've been seeing exclusively for awhile, so depending on your definition it was a resounding success or a total waste of time.
Yes this is a throwaway because this is too spergy and nerdy a confession for me to pin to a persistent online persona. Also if you're texting and are out and about, you can meet up while already drunk and just parlay that into a casual hookup. It down dating app reddit almost every time. I used Tinder when I was feeling inferior to al of my friends in bars or whenever we met a guy together. I started chatting up one guy who I felt really comfortable with so Down dating app reddit gave online dating site in pune my phone number and snap chat.
One day I snap chatted him from inside my local starbucks and a train station was in the background. He saw the name of the station of my town and GOT ON A TRAIN to my town. I get a snap chat from him inside my town's starbucks with a sad face asking me where I went. Down dating app reddit the app and have not been back to that coffee shop. Wanted a fling, gained a stalker. I was back home from college, alone and in need of finding new friends basically, I was just seeking plain ole' company-- nothing serious.
I consider myself fairly attractive but lazy when it comes to actually initiating anything with a prospective date or maybe Down dating app reddit just "picky"? Since I had a lot of time on my hands, I gathered a lot of matches with men and women but things never progressed from mere messages back and forth. And I was swiping "NO" more so than "YES".
I deleted the app depending on my boredom level; let's face it, the app has a certain frenzied appeal, especially if you can take a nice superhero online dating profiles what can I say. Then I saw my partner's profile. I still remember the moment I came across it because it mentioned how he's into "cosmic horror fiction" I was immediately interested in him. It was as if his profile cast this mystical spell on me, and I found myself messaging him I read somewhere that if a woman messages a man first on a dating website, the relationship has a greater chance of succeeding--I believe it.
Most straight men on these services are creeps! Intuition and experience help form smarter decisions. I didn't even mind that he lived a good 60 miles away, we still ended up down dating app reddit.